Getting Out of Your Own Way: My Continued Journey to Improve Myself in My Role as a Wife and Mother

(Kyle and Lizzy)

*Note: Contents of this article are Property of Sabrina Ferguson. Copyright 2015

First of all, let me say that I am sorry to all of my readers for not posting articles in the last few weeks. My mother came into town earlier this month from Ireland. She had a conference that she needed to attend for work. She found some time to come and spend mother's day with me. We took a road trip down to Oregon to see my grandmother with my daughter Lizzy as well. Four generations together in the same room. It was so amazing to see. Road trips are one of my favorite childhood past times but as I became older it was something for my mother and I to do.

Road trips have always been a good way for my mother and I to bond. Growing up, she was hardly around because of work so she and I take road trips. It is the only time when she is work lite and can really talk. My mother wanted me to fill her in on things at home and how I was doing. Amidst all the talking, laughing, joking and taking care of Lizzy we had a good talk. My mother pointed out things that I was doing really well then pointed out things that I should work on. The talk resulted with me promising my mother 5 things. 1)  Go to church every Sunday without fail. Check. 2) Go to mommy and me classes (no pun intended) religiously. Check. 3.) Go to the gym at least once a week. 4) Get around horses again by volunteering at Little Bit. 5) Make an effort to do something special with my baby and my husband and to improve relationships with other people. Let me fill you in on my progress so far with each step.

First, I grew up as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. To others we are known as the Mormons. For the last seven years I have been going to church on and off to where I was only going a few times a year. I told my mother about how I have been feeling about wanting to return to church and how I would like Lizzy to go as well. I also told her that Kyle is interested in learning about the church but has had delays. She encouraged me that it will, not only be good for Lizzy and I to go, but it is also a good way for me to show Kyle how much church means to me through my actions as well as my words. He has definitely noticed a difference in my attitude and how happy I am. Next my progress with mommy and me classes.

The mommy and me class that Lizzy and I were going to before were discontinued because attendance was too low. Thinking about what my next move was I recalled my neighbor telling me that the community center in North Bend offers swimming classes. I figured since my daughter loves her baths I thought swim classes would be a great thing to try for her. She absolutely loves the water and is learning quickly. I have never seen her smile as big as she does when she is in the water. The cost of $65 dollars for 8 classes twice a week were totally worth every penny. I even enjoy swimming so it is a win-win situation and yet another thing for her and I to do together. Third, my progress with the gym and how I made my decision.

After comparing prices with 24 Hour Fitness in Issaquah WA (where my husband works out) and Mount Si Sports and Fitness, I chose the second. The determining factors that went into my decision were fuel, Lizzy being able to stand an hour round trip in the car after an hour and a half to two hours in town, cost effective with the amenities offered in the gym packages and convenience. Mount Si Sports and Fitness fit all my criteria. It is a fifteen minute drive from the house, classes and child care are included in the package at no extra price, a free training session with a personal trainer with them keeping tabs on my progress at the gym for free, and my neighbor teaches a yoga class there. Totally worth every penny monthly. Now, as for my attendance at the gym that has been a little rocky. It has been three weeks since my mother has left and I have been to the gym three times. Twice this week and once two weeks ago. The reason for the break between visits to the gym was because I injured myself. I pushed my body a little too hard out of excitement of working out in a real gym rather than at home. I tore a muscle in my rib cage which caused the cartilage to become inflamed between the rib bones. My doctor told me to take it easy for a week then return to the gym the next week and start small. She also said to refrain from a lot of lifting really heavy weights and twisting. I need at least four weeks to let my muscles and cartilage return to full strength. Needless to say my husband and my personal trainer were not happy with me. Fourth, my history of being around horses and how I ended up at Little Bit.

I have been around horses since I was eight years old. My grandmother Patti, may she rest in peace, taught me everything I know. From the manual labor of cleaning them and mucking out their stalls to properly putting on all the equipment that is required to ride them. When I was around horses I was at my most calm and all my troubles outside of the riding arena melted away. Horses relaxed me when I have a bad day or just need to recharge. Working on the ranch never felt like work because of how much I loved what I did. I worked on a ranch with her every summer until 2002 in Palm Springs, California. When she died I dropped my love for horses completely but always in the pit of my stomach was the longing to be on a horse. My mother, being the observant woman that she is, she enrolled me to volunteer at Little Bit in Redmond WA for a senior project in high school.

Little Bit is a therapeutic riding center for handicapped children to ride horses. I loved every moment of it. After a few hours a day I felt amazing, like I had accomplished something. The way that the children interacted with the horses and how naturally it came to them. I could see, in their eyes, just for a little while they were happy while receiving a short reprieve from their daily ailments. Lastly, the progress with my family and my relationships to those important to me.

That one is really self explanatory. As I did the first four assignment the fifth assignment automatically started fixing itself. My mother gave me these assignments to get a point across to me. By my mother telling me to do something I figure out the hidden lesson underneath. It wasn't until one night I was sitting with my daughter in her nursery, reading her a book. As I read to her I noticed I had not done that with her for a while. I noticed what my mother was trying to tell me in the car. The method behind my mother's madness has always been insightful and helpful.

Among the lessons that I learned one statement came to mind as I reviewed my progress. It was the foundation of what my mother was trying to tell me and the biggest elephant in my face. The statement is: Getting out of my own way. I realized that my priorities were a little out of proportion and my relationships and family were suffering from it. I was focusing on other things (i.e. my blog and what new recipe I was going to try to cook for my husband) other than what was really important. Which is my family. My husband and daughter have handled my skewed priorities well. I Skyped my mother and told her that I am a bad mother and wife. My mother just laughed and said "Honey. To err is human. But I am proud of you for noticing what you need to fix. We all need a little help sometimes and all you need to do is ask for it." I would say since having my daughter it has helped improve my relationship with my mother. In my wildest dreams I never would have thought that my mother and I would become such good friends. Just to let my readers know that you are still on my priority list but not at the top anymore.

 I have been doing some re-prioritizing of the things that are most important to me. Getting out of my own way has not been an easy feat but it has been worthwhile. Seeing smiles on my daughters' and husbands' face tells me that I am moving in the right direction. My husband and my family have definitely seen a difference in my attitude. Through this rediscovery I can say this: Once you think you have life pinned and figured out it often throws your curve balls. I have found the more you practice eventually you'll find a way to hit the ball back at life and get back in the game. What's life without a little failure and humility? Life would be dull without it to tell you the truth. Remembering a book I had in my collection had the same title as the lesson I was learning.

I revisited a book I read a few years ago called "How to Get Out of Your Own Way" by Tyrese Gibson. After reading his book it has definitely made me thankful for what I have. Reading through my highlighted quotes and notes to myself I noticed that the quotes struck a cord with me than the first time through. I think it is so funny how things change with situations in your life. If I could pass down one piece of good advice that I have learned it would be this: To all of those struggling first time mothers, you may want to scream from the monotony of every day life, feel like you're alone or even want time to yourself for just a few moments. Let me tell you it is very normal to feel that way. It may be hard at times but I found that taking a few minutes to myself a day and having a good support system I noticed the burdens of motherhood are more bearable. If any of you have any questions or just need someone to talk to I will be more than happy to answer emails and take time out of my day to help and talk. Thank you to all those who emailed me inquiring about my blog and its progress. It means a lot knowing that people enjoy my articles. The articles will continue. Expect a new article not later than two days from now.

My email is ferguson.sabrina15@gmail.com.


*Note: Contents of this article are Property of Sabrina Ferguson. Copyright 2015

Obesness Awarness: Prevent Your Child From Suffering

*DISCLAIMER: The following advice and preventative measures have been provided by research and confirmed by my child's pediatrician. I am not a licensed physician. Please consult your physician before attempting or trying remedies provided in this article.
 
In our country our food proportion size has increased exponentially to keep up with our growing population, contributing not only to the obesity problem in our adults but most unfortunately it has trickled down to our children. Becoming more acceptable to eat bigger portion sizes.

I was driving into town last week and saw a very sad sight. A child that looked facially like they were six but weight wise they looked at least 8 to 9 years of age. It made me sad to see this. This inspired me to do some research on this issue. Here is what I learned.


One out of every five children in the United States are overweight or obese with no sign of slowing. Children do not have as many weight - related health and medical problems than adults but they still have them. If children remain obese or overweight they will be prone to or at risk of developing chronic diseases and diabetes. Also they run the risk of their childhood condition to carry into their adolescents and even adulthood. Let's take a look at some common causes of this epidemic.

The most common contributers to this are genetic factors, lack of physical activity or unhealthy eating habits. In rare cases is being overweight or obese a medical condition. Taking your children regularly for a physical exam and blood tests can rule out the medical condition as contributing cause. Keep in mind, if weight problems run in a family where the siblings and parents are overweight that child is at risk of becoming overweight as well. The children are observing their parents activity level and eating habits causing the typical 'monkey-see-monkey-do' syndrome. To that child, they don't know any better because of what they see their parents doing. My father always said to me "When all else fails, lead and teach by example." If you want your children to be healthy, reach for the apple instead of the cinnamon roll or reach for the water instead of soda and they will follow suit.

A child's total diet and activity level play an important role in determining a child's weight. Today, many children spend on average, four hours a day in front of the electronic babysitter. (AKA T.V.) But with the popularity of computers and video games rising our childrens levels of inactivity may increase. Here are some conditions that overweight or obese children are at risk of.

Obese children are at risk of a number of conditions, starting at but not limited to: high cholesterol, high blood pressure, early heart disease, diabetes, bone problems and skin conditions. These common skin conditions consist of heat rash, fungal infections and acne. The best ways of preventing/ knowing if your child is overweight is by consulting your doctor. Your doctor will measure your child's weight and height to calculate what the healthy body mass index of your child should be for their age while comparing the results to average standards. Your doctor will also consider your childs age and growth patterns to let you know how they are doing and what is normal for your child.

Ways of helping your child prevent/through, is to lead a healthy life style by being supportive.
Children's feelings of themselves stem from how their parent's feelings about them. If you accept and love your child at any eight, they will be more likely to feel good about themselves. Most therapists and doctors say that it is important to talk to your child about their weight, which offers them an opportunity for your child to share their concerns. It is important to be supportive of your children and let them know that you love them no matter what.

You should also focus on gradually changing your family's physical activity and eating habits. By involving the entire family, everyone is taught healthy habits and the overweight child does not feel singled out.

Best ways of making changes:
1.) Lead by Example
2.) Plan family activities that provide everyone with exercise.
3.) Be sensitive to your child's needs. Make sure they feel comfortable with the level of exercise and are enjoyable.
4.) Reduce the amount of time you and your family spend their time in front of the t.v. or playing video games.

I grew up in a household where my parents encouraged us to go play outside. My siblings and I enjoyed rollerblading, climbing trees, swimming, building forts outside, jump roping, running through sprinklers, chasing each other with water guns and exploring new places. On hot days our parents would give us $5 dollars to go to the local mini mart and buy small ice cream
cones. But my favorite memory of my siblings and I getting our exercise was our parents giving us money to walk to the local skating rink to go rollerblading. It was a great bonding experience for us.

My point is exercise does not have to be a chore. Make exercise time for your kids fun. Have a reward system in place. If your kids play in the yard for a certain amount of time let them have that extra slice of pizza or piece of candy for dessert. Instead of hours of mindless video games limit them to at least an hour with them learning something. My two favorite computer games to play as a child were the Nancy Drew computer games where I learned problem solving, riddles and exposed to other languages. Second was something called Mario Keyboard which was a game that helped me improve my typing skills. Have fun with your kids, by teaching them survival skills to get them outside or on rainy days read a book together by the fire. Some of my favorite bonding memories with my parents was sitting and listening to them read me a book. Now I have a deep love for books.

I remember a really fun time with my family during high school in Samammish WA. It was during a power-outage one winter. This snow blizzard was so bad that we went through, what my family referred to, as our colonial experience for two weeks. We were reading and playing board games by candle light, heating water for baths, cooking over the fire, using  our camping propane gas stove in the kitchen and even storing food outside in the snow as a refrigerator. We took out the most used foods and stored them outside so that we could preserve the cold air in our freezer and fridge to keep our other food from spoiling. No cell phones and no electricity what so ever. Even the Safeway, a ten minute drive away from our house, was out of power as well.

Needless to say it wasn't easy to go without electricity, but it was bearable because of the encouragement of our parents to find ways to entertain ourselves without the use of electronics came in handy. I believe the more you educate your child on moving and finding ways to keep them from wasting away on the couch in front of the t.v. will later benefit them in life.


Until Tomorrow Then!